PARMO7ASIDE NEW RULES INTRODUCED FOR THE SEMI FINALS ON THE 30TH OF JUNE 2009
I would like to extend a thank you to all the players who have competed in this year’s Parmo7aside aside to date. Overall the majority of players agree that the tournament has been a huge success and the last 2 months of football have seen some great games and a good bit of banter between sides. Over the course of the last eight weeks the league has seen over 100 players feature in the league which is an outstanding effort by all the teams to produce 7 players or more week in week out during the tournament and credit must go in particular to team leaders Anto Boshell, Mark Kavanagh, Brendan Mac, Seamus Daly, Derek Kavanagh, Glen Walsh, David Holmes and Jonathon Kelly for that superb achievement. To date amazingly 75 different players have found the back of the net in the tournament and a massive 371 goals have been scored!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Until now the tournament’s function has been to provide a kick about and banter between players and teams, with the semi final stage looming on the 30th of this month however teams and players will begin to take the tournament a little more series aware that there are some outstanding trophies available for the winning team. With this in mind as of the semi final stage of the competition yellow cards and red cards will be introduced to the tournament. In recent weeks some tackles have been ridiculous and have gone unpunished, if tackles are allowed to continue at the rate they have been going it’s only a matter of time before a player is going to do series damage to his leg. The rules below are set rules as of the semi final stage of the tournament and no exceptions will be given. A number of teams have been complaining about the nature of tackles and the standard of referring of the tournament so with this in mind the following rules strictly apply as of the semi final stage of the tournament.
NEW RULE: slide tackles are still allowed because tackling is all part of the game, however 2 footed tackles will not be tolerated anymore and tackles with dangerous intent will be punished with a yellow or red card depending on how bad the tackle is. A yellow card will result in a warning as per normal 11 aside games, a red card will mean a 3 minute sin bin for the offending player which means his team will be down to 6 men for a 3 minute period.
NEW RULE: Taking into account the unavailability of players for teams in recent weeks all teams featuring in the semi finals will be allowed field any player who has featured in at least 1 league game during the tournament!
NEW RULE: A draw in the semi final or the final will result in a replay.
All other league rules apply as normal
Return of the Mack 15-4 Arsenal Legends
Return of the Mack secured their place in the semi finals of the Parmo7aside aside Monday night with a convincing 15-4 trouncing of a disheartened Arsenal Legends side. Although 15-4 is undoubtedly a huge margin and impressive score line Return of the Mack will not take any comfort from that as they missed a host of chances in front of goal, Parmo7aside top goal scorer Johno Boyle and Gary Kealy in particular were guilty of missing some clear cut chances as Arsenal Legends keeper Stephen Cronin excelled in goal for his side.
Although hammered on the night the Legends team did create a number of chances themselves and were it not for Dean Robinson being denied by the post on two occasions and a missed Penalty by Andy Boyle following a hand ball by John McDonnell in the box coupled with some outstanding saves by Return of the Mack shot stopper Ian Coughlin this game may well have been a tighter affair. On reflection on the game as a whole however it must be said that if Return of the Mack were on form in front of goal themselves this game could have easily broken the record high score line previously set by Return of the Mack in their 21-4 demolition of Keepitonthedeck.
Return of the Mack drew first blood in this one following a mistake by Arsenal Legends John who would leave the pitch soon after to be replaced by Anto Boshell who had been watching the game up till then, Johno Boyle was the benefactor of John’s mistake as he latched onto the ball before riffling home. Gary Kealy made it 2 for his side soon after with a well taken goal before Dean Robinson pulled a goal back for the Legends. By half time this game looked dead and buried however as Return of the Mack romped into a 5-1 lead with Mark Lordon and John McDonnell adding to the Return of the Mack tally before Emmet Fitzpatrick burst down the left wing past Dean Robinson and unleashed a cracking drive which flew in down under the crossbar.
Legends started brightly in the second half and twice forced Ian Coughlin into saves before Dean Robinson did eventually find the back of the net for the second time on the night. 5-2 was as close as Arsenal Legends were to get to Return of the Mack all night however as the flood gates opened at the other end. Goals from Mark Kavanagh and a Seamus Daly own goal were added to by a neat John McDonnell second strike of the night followed soon after by Gary Kealy’s second strike of the night following unselfish play from John McDonnell. Now at 9-2 Arsenal Legends were playing for pride and to their credit they refused to throw in the towel despite being completely dominated by a much more physically stronger side. Dean Robinson completed his hat trick for the Legends when he drove home a shot following a save with his feet by Ian Coughlin when Anto Boshell should have buried the ball from 4 yards out, 9-3 soon became 10-3 however as Mark Kavanagh drilled home his second of the night and it got even worse for the Legends minutes later as Johno Boyle scored twice within a minute to complete his hat trick. Andy Boyle scored a superb volley following a Seamus Daly corner kick to peg the game back to 12-4 but again the Return of the Mack response was to be clinical as the Arsenal Legends continued to lack numbers in defence. Mark Lordon slid in 3 yards from goal to complete his hat trick with 6 minutes left, a goal which had followed an earlier strike which had seen the centre half burst forward and finish clinically, goals number 9 and 10 of the tournament for the defender!. The rout was complete just on full time as Johno Boyle rounded Stephen Cronin before scoring his 4th of the night and an impressive 23rd of the tournament so far.
Key Points: Return of the Mack were wasteful in front of goal despite winning by a huge margin, a sign that is ominous ahead of the semi finals as chances will be at a premium in the semi finals. Ian Coughlin had another impressive game with Mark Lordon and Mark Kavanagh as steady as ever for their side. Johno Boyle and Gary Kealy could have racked up double figures in this one were it not for some outstanding Stephen Cronin saves and some guilt edged chances going to waste. As far as the top goal scorer trophy goes following 4 more Boyle strikes he is now just 5 goals short of the 28 goal figure predicted to be good enough to secure the trophy. Arsenal Legends now have to pick themselves up ahead of an absolutely vital clash with The Best next Tuesday night at 9pm which will see the winning team from the game progress to the semi finals.
The Best 10-3 Cabra
Cabra are unlikely to feature in the next Parmo7aside tournament following another crushing defeat Monday night by 10-3 at the hands of a determined The Best side, now 3 points adrift at the bottom of the league Cabra are very likely to be relegated from the tournament. If you go back to week one match reports on this website it was mentioned that I have no doubts The Best will progress to the semi final stage of this tournament and following a run of 4 straight defeats going into this game I was still confident Johno Kellys outfit were too good to be knocked out at the league stage. Nothing has changed my mind since and a win next Tuesday night at 9pm vs Arsenal Legends for The Best will see them scrape through on goal difference at the expense of Supervalu.
The Best are a strong physical side full of determination and they had to display all those traits at times Monday night as Cabra refused to be stream rolled. The first half proved a tight affair and some excellent goalkeeping from Bob in goal for Cabra insured the lively Paul Dillon and powerhouse Jeff Geoff were kept at bay. It was Cabra who opened the scoring in this one when Paddy McGinn taped home a low cross from Figo following some poor The Best defending. Team leader for The Best Johnaton Kelly was leading by example however and when the defender unleaded a shot from 12 yards which flew past Bob The Best had levelled matters at 1-1. Cabra stunned everyone once again though 18 minutes in as Cabra’s one quality player Keego skipped past the challenge’s of Dorton and Johno Kelly before finishing coolly past Andy in The Best goal to notch his 6th goal of the Parmo7aside in what was only his 3rd appearance. Just on half time Jeff Geoff restored parity with a superbly taken goal for The Best who had missed a host of chances, Paul Dillon in particular denied on 4 occasions by Bob in the Cabra goal. Half time 2-2
The second half proved to be a one sided affair as The Best assumed total control of the game. Both squads who had a substitute each were looking drained but it was The Best who had that extra bit of determination which was to prove crucial. Paul Dillon in particular was looking lively and he completed a ten minute second half trick following some nervy Cabra defending. Dillon then created a second of the night for Jeff Geoff before centre forward Dorton made it 7-2 with a neat finish when released by the pacey centre midfielder Sean. Cabra’s one star player Keego drilled home his second of the night and his 7th of the tournament at the other end but it was to prove in vain for his Cabra side as teammate Iano put threw his own net moments later to make it 8-3 to The Best. Before the end Paul Dillon buried his 4th of the night following a run which saw him beat 3 tired Cabra challenges and then 6 foot 4 inch midfielder Dano completed the rout with a well taken 10th for his side.
Key Points: The Best know a win next Tuesday vs Arsenal Legends will secure them a semi final spot and see Supervalu miss out on goal difference. Cabra will need to beat both The Pimps and Return of the Mack in their final 2 games if they are to avoid finishing bottom of the table.
The Pimps 14-6 Supervalu
Yet another convincing victory for The Pimps Tuesday night as they beat Supervalu by 14 goals to 6 in a bad tempered affair at the Coldcut Astro Park. The Pimps can now guarantee themselves top spot in the league if they beat Cabra next Tuesday at 8pm whilst Supervalu’s semi final faith is out of their own hands as they must hope for a draw in next Tuesday’s game between Arsenal Legends and The Best to qualify for the semi’s and potentially meet The Pimps again
A weakened Supervalu side started this game well and 2 goals inside the first 8 minutes from Snowy gave them a 2 nil lead, the goals were snowys 6th and 7th goals of the tournament. The Pimps responded however and forced Supervalu shot stopper Rossi into a string of saves before Aido eventually found a way past the net minder with a well taken goal. The Pimps were getting stuck into Supervalu and proving far too physical for the young Supervalu side to cope with, 14 minutes in John Dunne was unfortunate to put threw his own net following a good run by Gary Curran down the Supervalu right hand side and suddenly The Pimps were in control of the game. Git was twice denied by Rossi before a drive from Brendan Mac was saved brilliantly by the Supervalu net minder. A third Pimps goal soon arrived as again Aido turned well before firing home a superb second of the night. Supervalu refused to lie down however and following a run by Anto Notaro Brendan Mac was unfortunate to deflect a save by Richie into his own net. With the game at 4-3 the goal of the night and perhaps even the goal of the tournament arrived when a shot by Shaun Byrne was looped into the air, Rossi headed the ball away well but with the ball hanging in the air a mercurial overhead kick from Neil Byrne from 9 yards found its way brilliantly past the Supervalu keeper and into the back of the net. The Pimps then added a 6th of the night when Git blasted home a superb strike from 12 yards low past Rossi into the bottom right hand corner. Half time 6-3
The second half saw Supervalu introduce Lee Smith and Jonathon Holmes to the action and it seemed to give the side a burst of energy going forward. Link up play between Smith and Stephen Holmes saw a strike from Graham Fitzpatrick fly past Richie in The Pimps goal and further hope was given to Supervalu moments later as Lee Smith drilled home a 5th Supervalu goal of the night. The Pimps responded however and thy began to lay siege on the Supervalu goal, two strikes from the superb Darren Martin made it 8-5 before a sublime touch from Brendan Mac saw him loop the ball over advancing keeper Rossi and into the back of the net to make it 9-5, a super finish from Bren!. The lively Gary Curran was next to score as he cut inside Graham Fitz before riffling a shot home. At the other end a second of the night by Graham Fitzpatrick pegged the game back to 10-6 but that goal was to prove in vain as Gary Curran added his second of the night for The Pimps before Aido completed his hat trick and centre forward Gilly blasted home a 13th Pimps goal. The scoring on the night was complete when the ever reliable Shaun Byrne found the back of the net following more good work from Gary Curran and Git in The Pimps midfield.
Key Points: The Pimps are rampant and that’s now 5 straight wins for the side. Gary Curran was lively with Neil Byrne showing touches of class throughout. Git looks a real powerhouse in The Pimps midfield and its also worth mentioning that centre forward Gilly looks very dangerous in front of goal. Supervalu trio Rossi, John Dunne and Stephen Holmes stood up to the physical The Pimps side but to many of the other Supervalu team members were bullied into a defeat by a strong Pimps outfit. The Pimps game against Cabra next Tuesday is likely to be the most one sided game of astro of all time and it would be no surprise at all if the Pimps rack up between 25-30 gaols on the night as they luck to secure a top of the table finish.
Bunch of Messi's 11-5 Keepitonthedeck
A game played in true football spirit as both sides played total football throughout this affair. Keepitonthedeck knew if they were to have any chance of miraculous top 4 finish they would have to win this one by 6 or 8 goals minimum and hope Supervalu lost to the Pimps by 8 goals or more later that night. Bunch of Messi’s on the other hand were playing attempting to avoid a semi final clash vs Return of the Mack by attempting a top of the table finish.
This was a cracking game right from the off with the ball strung about the pitch by both side who possessed players comfortable on the ball. Bunch of Messi’s were first to strike despite a lively start by a new look Keepitonthedeck side, a forward ball from Damo towards Colly saw the majestic centre forward leave the ball run past him and much to the dismay of the Keepitonthedeck side goalkeeper Daniel Kalo saw the ball trickle past him and into the back of the net. A run forward by Derek Kavanagh and a double faint to shoot presented former Leicester City footballer Aaron Deans with a goal scoring opportunity at the other end but he was to be denied by a spectacular save from Glen Somers who yet again was exceptional in goal for his side on the night. Marcus Hogan doubled Bunch of Messi’s lead on 12 minutes when Colly cut a ball back into his path, Hogan drove his shot low into the bottom corner past Kalo. 2 nil down Keepitonthedeck seemed well and truly dead and buried as far as a miraculous top 4 finish was concerned as they would now need to score at least 8-10 goals in the remainder of the game. Following a spell of sustained Keepitonthedeck possession Derek Kavanagh riffled home a 12 yard strike past Glen Somers given his side some hope and in truth a deserved early goal. Jamie Garamanli then smashed a 14 yard strike off the crossbar moments later following more good passing going forward. 18 minutes in the equalizing goal did arrive, a short corner by Andy Boyle saw Derek Kavanagh allowed time to cut inside the Bunch of Messi’s left hand side before curling home his second of the night. Bunch of Messi’s appeared frustrated and by the time a through ball by Andy Boyle saw Sean Daly blast home a 3rd Keepitonthedeck goal the game was completely turned on its head. 3-2 down Bunch of Messi’s began to up their game, Dane dispossessed Sean Daly down the right hand side before feeding a through ball to Colly, Colly rounded the advancing Daniel Kalo and drove a shot at goal, a superb sliding challenge on the goal line from Mark Kavanagh denied what would have been an equalizing goal however. Half Time 3-2
With Keepitonthedeck 3-2 up at half time they were content not to scurry forward in search of the 7 further goals they needed to keep their slim tournament hopes alive. Bunch of Messi’s came out fighting in the second half and just five minutes in centre half Foxy who had a good game for his side burst forward and blasted his side level at 3-3. Bunch of Messi’s then added a fourth 3 minutes later as Marcus Hogan drilled home his second of the night with a speculative effort from range witch somehow found the back of the net. Keepitonthedeck needed a moment of magic and Jamie Garamanli duly obliged with a superb surge forward and a cracking finish to bring his side level again at 4-4. Damo again restored the Bunch of Messi’s lead however as the Crumlin United player volleyed home a cracking fifth goal for his side. Keepitonthedeck then seemed to abandon their defence knowing time was running out and they somehow needed to find 9 goals at the very least to stand a hope of a top four finish. Bunch of Messi’s exposed the lack of Keepitonthedeck defending well and a forward ball by Dane saw Colly control well before cracking in a 6th Bunch of Messi’s goal of the night. A harsh free kick was given against Marcus Hogan at the other end for an apparent trip on Derek Kavanagh and much to the frustrations of the furious Hogan a the ensuing short free kick was drilled home by UCD centre half Andy Boyle. With 18 minutes to go and the game at 6-5 Sean Daly was guilty of missing a one on one opportunity with Glen Somers who saved superbly from the tournaments youngest player aged just 16. Jamie Garamanli scored his second of the night soon after but unfortunately for Keepitonthedeck Garamanli on this occasion put through his own net; the inspired Colly then rounded Daniel Kalo minutes later to make it 8-5 before he was denied a hat trick by 2 excellent saves from the Keepitonthedeck net minder. Keepitonthedeck were continuing to pile forward in vain as solid defending by Foxy and flying saves by Glen Somers denied Mark Kavanagh, Derek Kavanagh and Andy Boyle efforts from range, at the other end Bunch of Messi’s were free to run riot and following wayward efforts from Anto Boshell and Colly which just missed the target Damo showed them how it’s done as he blasted in his hat trick with an absolute rocked of a drive that flew in. Before the end a neat passing move saw Anto Boshell finish well to make it 10-5 to his side and an eleventh goal of the night followed soon after as Colly completed his hat trick following a searching through ball from Foxy, Colly controlled brilliantly before finishing past Daniel Kalo with ease.
Key Points: Bunch of Messi’s are top of the table once again but with The Pimps still to play Cabra next week a cracking game vs Return of the Mack is likely in the semi final on the 30th of June, if the Bunch of Messi’s 3-3 league draw with Return of the Mack is anything to go by that should be a cracking game of astro. Colly was the games star player in this one with Glen Somers again impressing for his side also.
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Week 7 Match reports 
